Mom can’t control child; seeks help

Earlier in this newscast we ran a story on activities at the Youth Hostel aimed at the rehabilitation of troubled young people. The following report could be called a “prequel” to that piece: a close look at one tragic situation in which a mother comes to the realization that she can no longer control her child.

Jovita Jones, Mother
?I tell them if they noh help me with the child, I wah kill him or I will kill myself, because I can?t handle it no more.?

Jacqueline Woods, Reporting
Thirty-year-old Jovita Jones is crying out for help. Like so many other single parents living in poverty, she is having a difficult time raising her children on her own. Jones, who makes money braiding people?s hair, takes care of two of her children, while the other four siblings have been placed with relatives. Today, she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown she believes is being caused by her twelve-year-old son, who she says has been out of control since he ran away from home for the first time…at age four.

Jovita Jones
?I feel like they wah kill him out here, that is the only thing. And before that happen, I try. They can?t say that I noh try. That is why I gone to unu. If they release him to me and bring him yah, he noh wah listen to me, he will do the same thing, he wah do the same thing.?

In the past eight years, the minor has been at the children?s home on five different occasions, but no effort seems to help.

Jovita Jones
?He thief, he backweh the knife, he cuss bitch, he disrespect people on the street, he do a lot of things. He sleep out; I deh out one o?clock, two o?clock di look fi him. When I do conscious, dah because police have him hold or he deh dah thirty-one miles; what he the do there, I don?t know.?

On Friday, Jones says she could not control her anger anymore and slapped her son several times across the face causing his nose to bleed. Jones says she was tired of getting complaints about her son and had reached the end of her rope.

Jovita Jones
?I was so frustrated. I so angry that I beat ah, I beat him you know miss, I beat ah til I even sorry, you know… but I noh know.?

Following the beating, the child ran away and reported the matter to police. It did not take long for the authorities to detain Jones, who spent three nights in a holding cell. On Monday, Jones was charged with harm and fined two hundred dollars.

Jovita Jones
?When they pick me up, they ker me to the hospital with him. I tell him I sorry, I tell him that he is just frustrating me, he do things and if I no beat him somebody will hurt him out here with the things he do.?

?From when I know myself, I am a single parent. I noh live with nobody and the first thing people throw in my face is that I should find a man fi discipline my son fi me because I can?t control, I can?t handle him, you know. And I noh feel like that that a right thing that they tell me, to find a man to discipline my son.?

Gilda Jones, Cousin
?The other day he call his ma, bitch. You know that is disrespectful and things like that. He noh listen, he noh listen none at all. Back away his ma?s knife. When the children talk to him, he would haul knife after them, he is very violent. I noh know what di go on with that lee bwai.?

Jovita Jones
?I noh think like I neglect him, because I always tell him, you have a house, you eat, you drink, what do you want? You know, what I do? I hurt you, I abuse you, what I do you? I want to know if I do him something wrong, you know, fi mek he do me these things.?

Human Services Director Ava Pennil says she is not familiar with the Jones case, but admits that handling these situations is not easy.

Ava Pennil, Director of Human Services
?I wouldn?t say that Belize has a lot of fabulous programmes. We have a lot of little programmes all over and it?s a large part on the parent. And I know it is a lot to ask because the parent as well is going through and I know that when you have a child that you and them cannot agree, it is on both ends because it brings out maybe the worst in you as well it brings out the worst in the child.?

Pennil says she would want to see the Jones family receive counselling, but the mother feels that the system has failed to help her, that she is being punished for trying to do what she believes will discipline her son.

Jovita Jones
?They noh know what I go through with the child when I abuse, lash him. Because he runs from here and goes straight to the station and dah me the police harass, because dah me they harass, nobody else. When you lash a child right now, you know how much they charge you fi abuse a child, fi beat a child, especially if he have one mark on his skin. I wonder if they know. Well I experience it and I noh want to experience it no more, no more.?

Ava Pennil
?The one beauty with children is that they go through these things and they survive at the end. They are resilient, but they need parents that will go the long haul with them and be right there with them, always seeking out help, never giving up.?

It is not certain how long the boy will remain at the children’s home, but his family says they would feel more comfortable if the authorities placed him in a rehabilitation programme.