“Happy Cow” robber caught with the cheese

We’ll call him the Happy Cow Bandit. Yesterday morning a man walked into a shop on Marage Road in Ladyville, picked up a pack of the popular processed cheese, carried it to the counter, and asked the proprietor for some crackers. When that shopkeeper, Hi Wengin Zheng, informed him that there were no crackers, the customer put his hand under his shirt, holding something that resembled a handgun. That got Hi’s attention and after being slapped in the face he gave up two hundred dollars in cash and another two hundred and fifty in phone cards. The robber’s luck did not last long, however, as police report that suspect Patrick Conorquie, nineteen years old, also of a Marage Road address, was later apprehended …with the Happy Cow still in his pocket. Conorquie will be charged with theft.