Govt: Tests confirm minister’s good health
Yesterday when we tried to get an official reaction to reports that Budget Minister Ralph Fonseca had left the country due to health problems, government’s response appeared to be lifted verbatim from the old Soviet Union’s handbook of public relations. Today, however, we have been treated to a full explanation of the minister’s medical condition, courtesy of his freshly enlightened staff. So as not to lose anything in the translation, I’ll read it the way we received it:
“Late last week, Honourable Fonseca experienced a chest pain that concerned his local doctor. Results of an E.K.G. and blood test for heart attack enzymes, along with other medical tests all yielded positive results–indicating that the minister was in good health.
As a precautionary measure and opportunity for a second opinion, the local doctor referred Honourable Ralph Fonseca to physicians at the Baptist Hospital in Miami for further more sophisticated tests. All tests have again yielded positive results, upholding the local physician’s report of good health.
Honourable Minister Fonseca is known for regular exercise sessions and from the results of the doctors’ tests, it is clear that this healthy practice is to be commended. The minister will wrap up his medical visit over the next couple of days before returning home and back to work.”
The release ended by assuring the Opposition U.D.P. that the P.U.P.’s national campaign manager will be operating on all cylinders.
