As for me, I pray that I may always be secure enough, to not have to consider anyone who disagrees with me, an enemy. Of course, I would have preferred had the rebuttal addressed the issue raised rather than me personally; but, ce la vie. As Oliver would say, “a can andle it”. Though I must admit and probably as a flashback to habit, that I found wishing during the watching, that I had cushioned my pants bottom with a couple of exercise books. The way dem licks mi di hib, however, I would a mi probably get it, anywhere weh mi exposed; kinda reminded me of a certain teacher at Holy Redeemer. Anyway, my initial inclination was to not respond and to just take the heat like a man. After all, was it not I who ventured into the kitchen and then lit fire under what I knew, would be a rather tempestuous stew. As my own brother e-mailed to rib, deh lather yu good boy.

After carefully considering the situation I was in, I figured what the heck. First of all, we would be doing this imperative issue a disservice by pushing it off the hotpoint too quickly and secondly, I believe that by not responding I would be disappointing, not only my fans, but also my critics who will be waiting patiently for me to put my foot even further in my mouth and oh, how I hate the taste of leather!

Now first off, let me say that there are two things I try hard never to do when I write. Number one is to never generalize. Number two is not to get personal so allow me to at this time, and in no equivocal terms, say that there is no personal vendetta or ulterior reasoning behind my comments. I neither intended any offense to anyone and hoped only to open a door to debate on a subject that has us nonplus.

I was reminded by Miss Latchman that my attorney is a woman and while that point could not have easily escaped my notice, I must say that I was more impressed by the fact that she was proficient. I have no problem with women being professionals but children are a serious responsibility that I believe is being taken much too lightly. Some women would have us believe that pregnancy is solely a man’s folly but let us not forget that there are serious laws which guarantee a woman’s right to say no. A man on the other hand, is considered almost less than a man, if he attempts to exercise that option. We are weak in that respect, and women know it.

Now unlike what Miss Latchman seemed to be insinuating, I have no special grievance against women. I have a mother; I have sisters and might one day even have daughters but lest we forget, women also have fathers and brothers and sons, which brings me to the premise of my biggest point. We are too intrinsically bound to be polarizing ourselves like we do. We here in Belize especially, are extremely polarized politically. Then there’s the generation gap, the widening gap between the haves and the have nots and as Dr. Van Sertima has reminded us, still a very wide divide between the races. We cannot begin to address any of these other chasms, until we bridge the gap between the genders.

We keep hearing of women’s groups, women departments, women affairs, women caucuses and a list that seems to go on forever. By all means, suggest Miss Latchman, men should start forming groups of their own. We used to you know, but we called them families.

Now, jump high or jump low, there are certain roles that are designated by nature itself for men and women alike. While there have always been sluggards among us, men for the most part have understood their roles to be protector and provider for the family and not necessarily with any special emphasis on the woman. Back in the days before women declared emancipation, many men worked their fingers to the bones trying to fulfill that role. As dictated by nature, a primary role of women is to bear and nurture children, and not for the benefit of man, but for the benefit of nature itself – that life should go on. Of course, there were some inconsistencies in this system, but was it a deliberate attempt by men to enslave women? I think not. The system, I believe, was designed with the future in mind and to ensure that our children had the best possible chance for survival.

I maintain that when mom was there anchoring the home, the children had more access to comfort, discipline and guidance – integral elements to a happy and fruitful life. Needs, of course, that run a distant second, when compared to women’s lib. Now one can well appreciate how career women with children might feel the need to defend their position or risk bearing guilt, but my intent was not to pass judgment. I do agree, that there are many women who have careers and still do an admirable job of raising children and by the same token, there are many women who stay at home and are so wrapped up in “Another World” or in “One life to live,” that their children go neglected.

The fact is, however, that many of the problems we face today are as a direct result of the breakdown in the family unit. This breakdown is not entirely the fault of the women but the fact that mom is no longer where she is needed most, contributes greatly to the problem. To suggest that I need some sort of gallop poll, or official research to make such a determination is ludicrous. As Ms. Latchman herself has suggested, just look around. The nuclear family is a thing of the past. Relationships have the life span of a common cold and humanity is locked in paradox.

As we head into the new millennium, women have good reason to hold their heads up high, for they have attained much in way of rights. Funny thing though, many mothers now hang their heads in grief as they consider the condition of their sons. One lady e-mailed from Detroit suggesting that maybe only Belizean children are not being all that they can be. To her I say, just look around you in the urban ghettos of America. Male children everywhere are dropping out of school at an alarming rate, basing and hanging out on street corners feeling insecure, insignificant and unimportant while women complain of how hard it is to find a good man.

We can assist in the making of each other, or we can continue to try and break each other. One thing is for sure, neither can ever be much anything without the other. In closing, there comes to mind the old saying, “when you throw stone ina pigpen, the hog weh get lick, bawl.” Funny thing how the hit hog, is then able to go around convincing all the other hogs that they should bawl too, for the stone was also meant for you. Not true, like I say, I try never to generalize when I write.