Couples tell their secrets to lasting love

When we think about Valentine’s Day, we often think of young couples buying gifts for each other or going out for dinner to celebrate their love. But what about those people who have been married, not just for ten or even fifteen years, but for decades? What’s their secret? With Valentine’s Day this Sunday, Hyacinth Latchman wanted to find out how some couples are able to share a lifetime of love.

Lloyd and Nancy Stanford

Nancy

“True love is commitment. It is seeing somebody that you feel like you could share your life with and share the good times and the bad times. When you can forgive and someone you can mesh with.”

Lloyd

“I think it is caring for the other person and looking out for them and trying to work out their needs. And, I am as she says able to share. And, in doing that, love will come out.”

Nancy

“He just showed his qualities and his love in a consistent way; doing good things; always being there; just being him. Having a friend for a long time but then you find out that you love him; there was more to this person in your life. That’s what happened to me.”

Lloyd

“When I look at her, she carried that responsible person kind of thing which I admired. And that is what drove me to pursue the idea that maybe this could work.

Our relationship to God is the basis of our relationship. Because even when you think of God, God is love. And, because of our commitment to Him, this caused us to relate to each other in a different manner.”

Carlos and Michelle Perdomo, who have been married for twenty-nine years, say there were many qualities that drew them together, but it is the ability to forgive and express affection that has kept them together.

Carlos and Michelle Perdomo

Michelle

“Well besides his obvious good looks, he has a wonderful sense of humor and he is very easy to talk to. At that stage in my life I was a bit shy, believe it or not. And, I just felt comfortable talking to him because he was interested in the things that I was interested in such as family, teaching and his country. So I found it easy to talk to him for hours and hours and hours.”

Carlos

“For us it has been a commitment to stay with each other regardless of the difficulties we face. The second one I think is forgiveness. I think that is a key element, to forgive each other. The third one is to be very loving. To be very affectionate, to talk things over. Because it’s like building up points so when the rough times come you can keep a balance view of the relationship.”

Arthur and Lily Tucker, who have been married for fifty-four years, — that’s right fifty-four years — say it’s the little things that people sometimes forget that make a marriage work.

Arthur and Lily Tucker

Arthur

“We always see eye to eye with each other. We always make plans together. Her decision is final for me; my decision is final for her. And that is the way we went through life right up until now. We are very God fearing. We say our prayers at night, first thing in the morning. We bid each other good morning and kiss and have a good night.

I’ll tell you the fact, I love her from the first day I saw her.”

Lily

“Patience. He has a lot of patience just like me, both of us. That’s the thing that work: patience and understanding. Because if you don’t have that nothing can work.”

The Tuckers say that life together has not always been a bed of roses. In fact they compared marriage to the waves in the sea. Sometimes they are calm, sometimes rough. However, all the couples that we spoke to agreed the best gifts they’ve ever received was their love, respect and understanding for each other. They had some advice for younger couples who might be contemplating a lifetime commitment.

Lloyd Stanford

“I would say to them, one is to go after the commitment and then once the commitment is in place that would help them to make the necessary adjustments.”

Lily Tucker

“Don’t listen to what this one come and tell you about your hubby or your hubby they go and tell something to. Don’t listen! That is the one thing that is going to cause chaos. Too much hearsay and it’s not good.”

Michelle Perdomo

“The element of surprise; doing little things for each other. Sharing tasks and planning together; really going through the good times and the bad. Cause, even the negative experiences, even quarrels and the crisis and all of that really bring a couple together.”

And staying together after all is what Valentine’s Day is all about, whether you celebrate it on February 14th or all year long. Hyacinth Latchman for News Five.

And how will the couples in our story be celebrating Valentine’s Day? Lloyd and Nancy Stanford, married for twenty-four years, tell News Five they plan to go away together, Arthur and Lily Tucker will have dinner at home and just relax and the Perdomos will attend early morning mass and then Carlos will be taking Michelle out for dinner.