Women band together to cope with their loss
For every life lost there are dozens of survivors left behind to mourn. And when death comes suddenly, by violence or accident, the magnitude of the pain is that much greater. In the following report Jacqueline Woods looks at one group that gathered today in Belize City to find strength in numbers.
Jacqueline Woods, Reporting
These women are all victims of tragedies that have taken the lives of their children, families, and friends. It is a painful time for everyone as the group?s members share their experiences and console each other through the grief. The mothers are members of the Yabra Citizens Development Group who came together last October to help families in their community deal with the death of a loved one.
Elizabeth Howard, Son Still Missing
?They don?t grieve as probably I do because I haven?t seen my son, I haven?t laid him to rest as they did, but they feel my pain because they are mothers and we all feel pain.?
It?s been a year and a half and Elizabeth Howard still does not know what happened to her nineteen year old son, Denroy Howard Beeks. Beeks?s friends told his mother that her son went missing after he jumped out of a boat to swim to a caye near the Turneffe Islands. Howard wonders every day exactly what transpired that caused him to die.
Elizabeth Howard
?First, it is very hard, it?s very difficult and I don?t even want that on my worst enemy because it?s a nightmare. I can?t tell you how many days have I not cried, have I not prayed.?
In 2004, Sonia Myvette lost her eighteen year old son Ellion Augustine when he died in a traffic accident. Augustine, a former employee of B.F.L.A., was travelling in the company?s vehicle when the driver lost control by mile seventeen on the coastal road. He was not wearing a seatbelt. Myvette is upset that just last week that young man walked freely out of the courtroom and was not held responsible for her son?s death.
Sonia Myvette, Mother
?I just can?t accept that, I just cannot understand that. Here he was, he was the driver, indeed, yes, they claim to say that Ellion had the vehicle key, but the facts remain the trip planned between four of them and he was the driver and all the lives that come with it and no financial help.?
Today, Myvette is appealing to families to communicate, even if one of the parties is responsible for the other?s tragic loss.
Sonia Myvette
?So we both need each other, we don?t need to separate when our children get involved in anything. No side needs to separate because I don?t know what my son was doing and you don?t know nothing until the story hit us. So we both need each other.?
Five months after the group was formed, today the women met for the first time in a formal setting.
Fermin Olivera, Dir., Community Rehabilitation Department
?We know that the grief process is something that can be with people for the rest of their lives. However, it doesn?t mean that it needs to have a debilitating, life altering effect on them. And that we are hoping to address in this session at least to continue and if the healing process hasn?t began we are hoping that will start.?
Workshop facilitator Fermin Olivera of the Community Rehabilitation Department says he is encouraged by the fact that the women have made the remarkable decision to become proactive in the fight against all forms of violence in their neighbourhoods.
Fermin Olivera
?A big part of anyone?s emotional healing is to be proactive, be active. We always hear stories of people who have lost, say children because of drunk driving, for example, they tend to be advocates. They tend to fight against that phenomenon. So their involvement in their community will certainly help their own healing.?
It?s that kind of working cooperation the police encourage. Community Policing Commander Supt. Yolanda Murray says she hopes to see a similar countrywide effort.
Supt. Yolanda Murray, Commander, Community Policing
?It is something that was needed a long time ago and the mothers are showing a lot of interest in what is happening right now and we believe that if all these mothers get together they can also pass on what they are doing to their children and hopefully that the children will see something positive coming from what the mothers are doing. And so if they have any children or any other young people in the area or any persons who are involved in violence, it will help to make a difference because they will see that the people and their own parents or relatives and close friends care about what is happening and want to make a difference in this area.?
The group says they have seen a marked decline in the number of crimes and other violent incidents in their community, though it has not been easy.
Dana Young, Secretary, Yabra Citizens Dev. Group
?This group is a very small and at this present moment we have a lot of negativity on the street. But with that it doesn?t stop us. People are telling us that we are snitch are so forth, but it doesn?t matter. To me, as long as there is no violence around here, it doesn?t matter me what they want to say.?
Liz Longsworth
?It takes the whole community to deal with their community, so I di appeal to everybody out there to please come. Noh feel no way, just come and ask and we?because we have subcommittees inna the whole committee. Ask them if they can be part of the subcommittee where they can contribute to the committee.?
Presently there are just over twenty women in the group.
Jacqueline Woods for News Five.
