Victim of domestic abuse speaks out

mirlin plunkett

While the number of unreported cases of domestic violence against men and women remains inconsistent, the instances that are actually documented have become fewer over the years.  The decline, however, does not mean that the situation is looking any better for victims of spousal abuse.  One person who has chosen to advocate for those who are suffering in silence is Mirlin Plunkett, a victim who has survived two abusive relationships.  She spoke candidly with News Five’s Isani Cayetano about her past experiences and the need for women to liberate themselves of the cycle of abuse.

Isani Cayetano

“Can you begin by recounting the first incident in which you felt as though you were being abused by your spouse?”

Mirlin Plunkett, Victim of Domestic Abuse

“Okay I’m a survivor of domestic violence.  Way back in 1977-78 I was cut up.  Prior to that there were little warning or hints that this was escalating to a higher degree of abuse right.  We had first there was a lot of misunderstanding, if I wanted to go somewhere by myself, if I wanted to visit my family, if I even wanted to go to church there was questions, there was like all this had to be—had to erupt into a quarrel before I could leave to go anywhere I wanted to go and that was the first sign that this was an abusive relationship because if I don’t have the freedom to go to visit my family, to go to church then that’s a form of abuse as well.”

Isani Cayetano

“There is this notion, an idea that has been put out to the wider society that if your partner doesn’t get physical with you then there isn’t enough affection or love being shown.  To put it in Creole language ‘if ih noh beat mih ih noh love mih.’  What would you say that would dispel this particular notion having been a survivor of domestic violence?”

Mirlin Plunkett

“I think Isani, nobody likes to be abused.  Whether it’s punch, kick, hit in a negative way I mean even some positive hitting I mean noh justifies the hit right.  So I don’t think, people say that because it’s like a cliché.  They say it because it is passed on to them, that they heard somebody say that and to justify their not having to explain why they were hit or abused they use that cliché to cover up, like to blanket it.  But I don’t think that nobody likes to be abused in any form or manner.  For instance you have physical abuse, you have mental abuse, you have financial abuse, it goes along with the verbal abuse as well.  But I don’t think that that sells well.”

Isani Cayetano

“What prompted you to look for help?  I know that a lot of men and women suffer in silence so to speak and there are very few that would actually come forward and say look I need to get out of this relationship or I need to seek help, counseling or whatever may be available to that person.  What prompted you to get out and try to look for something to better yourself?”

Mirlin Plunkett

“Okay I’ll take you back to 1977 when there is no domestic violence act.  There was no kinda help for you as a female being abused, no kinda help.  There was no counseling at that time.  If you live with somebody and you are with that person then you are supposed to take whatever they give to you.  If you try to leave you are branded as the “bad person”; you’re branded as “yoh want somebody else or yoh si somebody else weh yoh want deal wid” something to that effect.”

“Today they have, you can get counseling. You can go to the Domestic Violence Unit at the police station and get help depending on who is there because some of them are not sensitive to what’s going on and you can ask other people for help.  I’ve offered assistance to a number of people throughout the length and breadth of this country.  I have talked to several people.  I am not into the whole notion of breaking up homes.  I will never tell a woman to leave a man.  I’ll never tell them that.  But what I would say to them is the abuse on your life worth it because he might come home in a fit and rage and noh mean to kill you but he kills you.  So what will happen to your children?  So what will happen to your life that you could have made something out of?”

Mirlin Plunkett credits the assistance of the Women’s Department, the National Women’s Commission and Haven House for providing counseling for her and other battered spouses.